I've Been Gone a Long Time : 1/3 Checkpoint

I really have been gone a long time now.

I have neglected the blogosphere for far too long. You, my readership, have been put to the ultimate test. Your thought process as you scan these words and pictures: am I scrolling through pages of an inactive blog? I understand that consuming an inactive blog probably makes you feel slightly dirty and a lot perverted, akin to stumbling upon a box full of dusty love letters in your parents' attic. The words are so engrossing and the concepts so captivating that you can not put them down/navigate away from the tab. But alas, the guilty feeling of "I shouldn't be reading this" overwhelms you. I would never want you, my reader, to be in this overwhelming position. My shame as a blogger is true and cannot be shaken. With that being said, I will now resume spitting in your face, readership. Excuses: I have been and will be very busy at this time in my life. So for about the next month or so, the blogging will be minimal. I will try for you, my dear reader, but no blog-promises can be made at this time. Come July, however, I should be able to write on a more consistent basis. I thank you for sticking with me through it all and I love you for reading these words.

One of the various topics that I initially promised to write about was sports (not basketball). I have not fulfilled this promise. I suppose that when I sit down to blog the topic of sports does not feel like an everlasting fountain of material to write creative, long-winded, and tangent-filled pieces about. It feels very concrete and seems to only cater to straight-up reporting as opposed to subjective analysis. (I am in the process of learning what concepts I enjoy writing about! Thank you for coming along on this delightful journey of self-discovery.)

But, I am wrong about sports. Where I mislead myself is with a failure to understand that the content being reported is fascinating in itself. No abstractness is necessary. The analysis I crave comes in the form of statistical trends and making predictions. I love statistical trends, I love making predictions, and I love sports. I will proceed in writing about sports.

INTRODUCTION TO SPORTS: It has been made clear, in an extremely self-deprecating manner, that I have been gone a long time. it has been even longer than that since I have written about sports. I love baseball and have not written a word about it on this website since the 2013 season has begun. It is June 5th and roughly 1/3 of the season is now history. So without further ado, I will take this 1/3 checkpoint to compare reality with preseason expectations in the baseball world.

Exceeds Expectations bracket:

Pittsburgh Pirates (6/6/13 record: 35-25) WILL THIS BE THE YEAR? To sample a previous blog of mine, the Bucs have gone 20 straight years with a losing record. Their winning percentage (using my blog calculator app) sits at .583. A winning percentage, I might add. 2/3 of the season hangs in the balance and the Pirates may begin to channel a Pittsburgh baseball team from any year from 1993-2012. But as of today, they are winning hearts (and probably fans?). Their young roster is led by CF Andrew McCutchen and the emergence of LF Starling Marte at the top of the order. Their island-of-misfit-toy pitching staff is (thus far) featuring great starts from AJ Burnett, Jeff Locke, and Francisco Liriano; journeyman closer Jason Grilli is putting up the most impressive season of them all. No way they all keep this up throughout the season, but it still kind of sounds like a Cinderella story to me. I just talked myself into picking them to finish above .500. There it is, readership. My 6/6/ assessment: Your Pittsburgh Pirates will finish 84-78.

Colorado Rockies (6/6/13 record: 32-28) The Rox recent history suggested this would be another lost year in Denver, mainly due to their shitty Rocky Mountain-thin-air-saddled pitching staff. Even when they made the World Series in 2007, they had to go on an unholy 20-1 run at the end of the season to make the playoffs. There hasn't been much to write home about since then. But this spring has seen cause for celebration in Colorado. This is another young team paced by a dynamic, and finally healthy, group of hitters, SS Troy Tulowitzki, LF Carlos Gonzalez, and a breakout from CF Dexter Fowler. The Rox always lack one piece of a balanced breakfast: pitching. And that has been the difference in their above-average start. Good, not great, starters Jorge de la Rosa and Jhoulys Chacin are putting together solid innings. The bullpen has been great, led by closer Rafael Betancourt and setup guy Rex Brothers, who has a 0.35 ERA. Just thought I'd mention that. A solid foundation for a team. My 6/6 assessment: The Rox will finish 83-79, challenging for a playoff spot.

Boston Red Sox (6/6/13 record: 36-24) I guess I can't maintain an unbiased writing style; I can't help myself from proclaiming: it pains me to acknowledge Boston's greatness. And in 2013 under John Farrell, they have been great. Maybe Bob Valentine was the worst manager in modern history after all? The emergence of underdog career-minor-league talent OF Daniel Nava and ace free agent 1B Mike Napoli (who looks like he was born with a Red Sox uniform on), along with stability from 2B Dustin Pedroia and DH Big Pap Ortiz has launched this offense back into formidable territory. And under the tutelage of their former pitching coach-turned manager Farrell, P's Jon Lester and Clay Buchholz have returned to top form. Looking like a real team after last year's 93-loss debacle. This will probably be one of the last times I can reference their 2012 season without irony, so I will. They went 69-93 in 2012. YEAH! My 6/6 assessment: The Sox will finish 88-74, (possibly) making the playoffs.

New York Yankees (6/6/13 record: 34-25) AHEM saving the best for last in this Exceeds Expectations bracket, right? Let it be known that I have probably never taken as much pride in the Yankees as I do at this very moment as a fan. Even as a child during their late 90's heyday, I was certainly desensitized by all the winning. Now the winning is scrappy. The Yankees didn't "buy" their record through the 2013 season's first two months. Notable players spending significant time/the whole time on the 2013 DL so far: SS Derek Jeter, 1B Mark Teixeira, CF Curtis Granderson, 3B Kev Youkilis, C Francisco Cervelli, backup SS Eduardo Nunez, P Andy Pettitte, P Michael Pineda, and not to mention 3B Alex Rodriguez. A motley crew of all-stars. With the exception of 2B Robinson Cano, the Yankees were essentially trotting out a spring training lineup nightly. 1B Lyle Overbay (!) has been huge. DH Trav Hafner has stayed healthy and productive. LF Vernon Wells was off to a great start (he has already started to slip, though). 38 year old P Hiroki Kuroda has been the Yankees MVP, the ace in the hole. The closer, 43-year-old Mo Rivera, is composing the most beautiful swan song imaginable. Without knowing how the rest of the season will progress, I can already say I am more content with the Yankess' April/May than I have ever been. Here's hoping Joe Girardi (hands down manager of the year) can keep the magic going as injured stars slowly make their way back. The 2013 AL East is going to be a dogfight. My 6/6 assessment: The Yanks will finish 87-75.

Exceeds Expectations Honorable Mention: Minnesota Twins (26-30), St. Louis Cardinals (38-21), Arizona Diamondbacks (34-25).

Now for the section you've been anticipating: 2013's Trainwrecks bracket:

Toronto Blue Jays (6/6/13 record: 25-34) It is a supreme understatement to say the Blue Jays were the chic preseason pick to win the AL East. A wide open division, loaded up on big-name free agents, and a sustained record of mediocrity? This is Toronto's year! I am totally comfortable with calling their season a bust already. OF Melky Cabrera has lost his power without his banned substances and 2B Emilio Bonifacio can't steal first base. What's that? Superstar SS Jose Reyes is on the DL again? 3B Brett Lawrie can't hit he actually avoids the DL, P Mark Buehrle is old, P RA Dickey can't conjure up the magic of 2012, and injury-plagued P Josh Johnson can't regain his form. Much like the Marlins of 2012, with much of the same players from that squad, money can't buy happiness up north. My 6/6 assessment: The Jays will finish 69-93.

Los Angeles Angels (6/6/13 record: 26-34) The Angels Angels were my blog pick to win the AL West. No way could they be as underachieving as they were in 2012, especially now with Josh Hamilton! But they could. Once-in-a-generation talent Albert Pujols appears to be on the downslope of his career; unfortunately for Los Angels they have 8 2/3 years left of it. The aforementioned Hamilton appears to be a very expensive headcase. P's CJ Wilson and Jered Weaver haven't been bad but definitely have not lived up to their career baselines. OF Mike Trout has been great but has not replicated his other-worldliness of 2012. If manager Mike Scioscia can't help turn this season around, will it spell the end of his esteemed tenure with the Angels Angels? The big budget is not yielding big results. My 6/6 assessment: The Angels will finish 81-81 and come up short yet again. The team starts rebuilding in the offseason.

Los Angeles Dodgers (6/6/13 record: 25-33) The city of Angels is big on payroll. The city also seems to be allergic to meeting expectations. 1B Adrian Gonzalez has been good but seems to recede in big spots. CF Matt Kemp hasn't been the same player since his transcendent 2011 campaign and can't stay healthy. RF Andre Ethier has always felt overrrated and is hitting .230. LF Carl Crawford has looked ready to bounce back from his Boston hell, but is injured again. P Josh Beckett has continued his downward spiral. P Zack Grienke is a punk-ass and got himself into a fight that landed him on the DL. However, Cy Young P Clayton Kershaw has been the rudder to the Dodger ship that has been lost at sea. P Hyun-Jin Ryu has been a find. BREAKING NEWS: Top prospect OF Yasiel Puig has been called up as an injury replacement and seems, through his first three games, to be a symbol of hope and vitality within this bust of a season. Based on injuries, good pitching, and Puig's Bo Jackson comparisons, I actually believe the Dodgers still have a chance in 2013. My 6/6 assessment: The Dodgers will finish 86-76, reinforcing their deep-pocketed method.

Miami Marlins (6/6/13 record: 16-44) Much has been made of their offseason purge of the team, sans slugger Giancarlo Stanton. Could we have expected them to be this bad? Well, Stanton has been injured for a while. And the number three hitter in the lineup is 2B Derek Deitrich. Who? The ace of the pitching staff is Ricky Nolasco, he of the career 4.43 ERA. There is no hope. Something I do hope is that the 2013 season for the Miami Marlins is one of the worst in history, in both fan attendance and team win-loss record, so that the commissioner of MLB will be forced to take action against the terrible ownership whose only concern is an endless flow of cash inside their wallets. Sorry, Marlins. My 6/6 assessment: The Marlins will finish 45-117, narrowly escaping the all-time season loss record.

Trainwrecks Honorable Mention: Washington Nationals, (29-30)

I need to take a cold shower after writing about the Marlins. I don't like to bring that much negativity to my blog. But I do intend, especially with sports, to report. And there is plenty of negativity to go around that state-of-the-art taxpayer-funded stadium down in Miami. Forgive me for being so fired up. Also forgive me for taking so much time between blog posts. If sports is not your favorite topic to read about but you've made it this far down the post, I thank you for being my best friend. Some photos for your patience: