Wanderlust III

To the unacquainted: please see Wanderlust & Wanderlust II.

This blog post will begin with a submission: I will stop cheekily referring to you as "audience." It was a weak Demetri Martin (constant Twitter plugs!) reference that I perpetuated for my own amusement; it was borderline funny at best. I assume that most of you, my readership, think I don't actually know what "audience" means and that I lazily misuse it continuously. "Audience" implies listening. LATIN LESSON: "Audi"=sound. There is nothing to hear as you read these words. I am not reading them to you. I understand if repeatedly being referred to as "audience" made you angry. I understand that my self-serving humor may be what prevents most repeat visits to I've Been Gone a Long Time. And today, as I type on Monday, September 16th, I am vowing to respect you, readership. I won't take you for granted again. The future of this blog is filled with readership reverence.   

For those readers who don't read my old blog posts and don't trust the links I provide (LINK: DIRECTLY 2 CPU VIRUS), a recap of the previous Wanderlust chronicles: Kate and I had just finished winding around Iowan back roads (farm roads) and rolled into Urbandale, IA "to lodge." 

ON THE ROAD AGAIN: I-80 West continued through the large farmlands of western Iowa for us the next morning. There was still a vague friendliness/hominess (not homie-ness) about these farms from our vantage point on the interstate. These friendly vistas gave way to the next state on our hit list, Nebraska:

     
A colorful truck yard preceded our entrance into Omaha proper. For my readership unfamiliar with the geography of Nebraska (preaching to the choir), the city of Omaha serves as the state's gatekeeper when entering the Missouri River. Omaha also served as an oven, as it was well over 100 degrees by the time we rolled through its commercial district for lunch on this day. I am proud to say that Omaha is another major city I have set foot in. There will be a Travis Reyes major-city-foot-tally in a blog post from the future. 

Much like Oklahoma and, to my estimation, every state in the longitudinal row of the "Great Plains," (North Dakota, South Dakota, and Kansas-Geography Editor) Nebraska feels like a transitional state. The farmland  found in Iowa definitely remains, but something is different. Comparatively, Nebraskan farms seem a lot less friendly/homey. Everything seems a bit more sprawling. I did not grow up with sprawling. I grew up with close-quarters. I attributed these differences to many Nebraskan farms probably being of the factory-farm variety. By that I mean they don't seem to be owned by your "typical," down-home farmers that seemed to characterize most Iowan farms. This is not empirical evidence; these are my assumptions made from the passenger seat of a car on the interstate. 

The day's highlight came at dinnertime. We exited in North Platte and pulled into a service plaza just off the exit. Behold:

Kate and I experienced our first roadhouse that evening. And when I say "experienced" I mean "had the most mind-blowing experience of our lives." SIDE NOTE: I was wearing a neon tank-top and brand new white flip flops upon entering Whiskey Creek. Not the best way to fly under the radar at a roadhouse in the middle of Nebraska. 

To walk through the doors of Whiskey Creek is to walk into a time machine with the date set to "1987." To my knowledge, the spectacle inside has remained unchanged since at least then. Don't fix what ain't broken...right? Peanut shells EVERYWHERE, country music blaring, and Southern accents abound (another location in which I was surprised to find Southern accents. Are they just "America" accents?). Needless to say my outfit triggered  a couple double-takes among the cowboy patronage. The only thing (curiously) missing were clouds of cigarette smoke swirling around in the lights. I am being totally unironic when I say it was paradise. It was an escape from 2011. 

The party didn't stop when we sat down. As far as I could tell, any menu item not containing BBQ sauce had been outlawed. I ordered a sandwich consisting of just that and macaroni & cheez. It was amazing.The waitress charmed us with her sweetness and when we were finished eating asked us, in her Southern twang, "you two save room for Peach cobbler?" We vowed to be back.      

Our journey into western Nebraska continued into sundown:

Hi-res photo of the Nebraskan sunset from the perspective of "passenger behind dirty window."

Soon enough we came across the surest sign of the West (pun intended):

  
YES. As I crept up to 85, I imagined Nebraskan teens on an early summer night ride flying past me at 105. That didn't happen. But, still. We were in a foreign land. The humidity from earlier in the day remained as we cruised with our windows down, eventually needing to stop and refuel. We took an exit with "GAS" on the sign. We rolled in:

This anecdote is noteworthy (relatively) because this small station was all the eye could see. The adjacent road was complete blackness. The kind of eerie shit I live for (blogging is eerie). Just Travis, Kate, the Nissan Sentra, and hundreds of huge bugs crawling everywhere. Maybe because the humidity was at 120%, maybe because we were at the only gas station in a tiny country town in western Nebraska at 10:30pm. But I have never seen that many huge bugs in one place. We pumped up and got the fuck out. 

We got all the way to Kimball before we called it a night. We lodged at a Super 8 in which the night staff asked us very suspiciously if we had "any pet?" They didn't know who they were dealing with. Luckily, we picked up a copy of the local paper at breakfast. As we stepped outside into the morning light we noticed the sky and the winds.

The sky was huge. Bigger than I had ever seen. The winds were constant and forceful. We were extremely far from any type of city smog/ambience. The evidence was mounting. We felt it as we got in the car that morning and approached Wyoming. It was happening. We had finally written the geometric proof: WE WERE IN THE WEST. 

Please stay tuned for a breathtaking account of the longest day of Road Trip 2011. Thank you for reading these words. 

Listening...Man Man-End Boss   

      

National Football League '13

Hello again readership. I have returned in a decidedly more prompt fashion this time. I am also now brandishing a mysterious background and color scheme. Intrigued yet? Thank you for not answering. 

DISCLAIMER: this is a sports post. For my non-jock readership, please continue to read this post and critique my writing. This is not an order but a playful request. It is obvious by now that my blogging has something for everyone. I implore you to leave a thoughtful comment at the end of this piece; either disagreeing with my NFL crystal ball or leaving a pleasant conversation-starter. The choice, as they say, is yours. In any event, please enjoy the football team nickname-inspired pics. I took none of these pictures myself. 

I hate the NFL's marketing scheme of "Back to Football." They can't shamelessly dictate what the most important aspect of my life is! Right....? 

But they always win. I just promoted them by offering a link to nfl.com. Whether it was out of spite or subliminal obedience is irrelevant. The NFL is a reprehensible American monopoly, yet I could not be happier sitting around every Sunday afternoon during the fall consuming the action/competition and compulsively checking the progress of my (mostly terrible) fantasy football team's weekly matchup. Have I mentioned that I have an unquenchable thirst for competition? NFL 1, Trav 0. This is also the time of year when I can't stop reading football previews on the internet or in the printed press. I neglect baseball, my supposed true love, during its "stretch run" no less, during the inescapable football hype of September. I am a slave to hype, despite spending my every waking moment attempting to squash it. I long for football season just as much as everyone else in America.

Now that it is apparent I am self-reflective, it is time to toss guilt by the wayside and type out my 2013 NFL predictions. With a self-imposed two-sentence maximum per team. You're welcome?

AFC EAST

3rd place in the AFC East.

1. New England Patriots

• Sages Tom Brady and Bill Belichick spite Aaron Hernandez and their perennially terrible defense with another comfortable divisional crown in a suddenly mediocre division.

2. Buffalo Bills

• Yes, I am a Billz fan and yes, this is a sentimental pick but rookie QB EJ Manuel's "intangibles," not to mention RB CJ Spiller's breakout potential have been omnipresent talking points this off-season. I'm rolling with that. 

3. Miami Dolphins

• Somehow simultaneously overhyped and overlooked by NFL '13 prognosticators, management made a bevy of questionable off-season acquistions. QB Ryguy Tannehill seems vaguely promising but a far cry from trustworthy after one season.   

4. New York Jets

• Former perennial AFC runners-up now find themselves locked in the cold AFC East basement. Indisputably one of the worst offenses in the league, the Jets not doing themselves any favors by stringing the Sanchize along. 

AFC NORTH  

Your AFC North champs.

1. Cincinnati Bengals

• The bona-fide big cats of this gruff division, if not the AFC. This defense will outclass former-big-brothers-turned-washed-up-townies Baltimore and Pittsburgh, but can QB Andy Dalton win some playoff games with expectations raised? 

2. Baltimore Ravens

• I suppose my opinion of the revamped defending champs' defense is a little skewed after I watched them give up 7 PASSING TOUCHDOWNS TO PEYTON MANNING ON OPENING NIGHT. No amount of coyness from multi-millionaire QB Joe Flacco will be able to make these blackbirds quite as fearsome as their brethren of yore. 

3. Pittsburgh Steelers

• The "Steel Curtain" is so 2005-2012. This town belongs to the Pirates!!!

4. Cleveland Browns 

• Remind me again why you'd take a 28-year-old quarterback in the first round of the NFL draft? At the risk of beating a dead horse, it's because you're the general manager of the Cleveland Browns (sorry). 

AFC SOUTH 

Even Bill Longley can't topple these greedy outlaws' rule.

 1. Houston Texans 

• These Texans are led by an unspectacular Matt Schaub at QB and a worn-down Arian Foster at RB, who complement a pretty good D. But they are allergic to advancing beyond the AFC divisional round. 

2. Indianapolis Colts 

• I am obliged to bow to the advanced statistics; they tell me Indy was extremely lucky last year and will regress. Shitty defense, but golden QB Andy Luck cuts down on the INTz.  

3. Jacksonville Jaguars

• A trendy pick to earn the number one overall pick in the 2014 NFL draft. QB bust Blaine Gabbert won't be around for the revolution, but their new analytically-minded (STATISTICS) front office take them about two baby steps forward in 2013.

4. Tennessee Titans

• Woefully uninspiring team that allowed the most points in the league last season and made next to no upgrades on sa(i)d defense. Chris Johnson is not the answer.  

AFC WEST

The rest of the AFC West doesn't stand a chance against these machines.

 1. Denver Broncos

• Yeah, Peyton Manning is still at top-3 quarterback. At WR and TE he has the two best Thomas TD threats in the league.

2. San Diego Chargers

• Egghead coach Norv Turner is finally gone, they blew five halftime leads in '12, and QB Phil Rivers is gritty/pissed off at haters. These things seem due for some correction (don't sleep on San Diego).

3. Kansas City Chiefs 

• One year ago, their 2013 acquisitions at coach, Andy Reid, and at QB, Alex Smith, were two of the most heavily mocked dudes in the league. Now they're franchise saviors?

4. Oakland Raiders

• They are a black hole. 

NFC EAST 

Soaring back into 2nd place.

 1. Washington Redskins

• Nothing else needs to be said about their dangerous young offense. What will be key to a wire-to-wire division title is a healthy, consistent, underrated d-fence.  

2. Philadelphia Eaglez 

• 2012 felt like everything that could go wrong did; it was a very emo year. With a newfound identity in wild-card coach Chip Kelly's hi-speed chase offense, confidence is reborn.

3. New York Giants 

• This is not a championship defense. Also, Eli Manning will never be consistent enough to earn the unconditional love of Giants fans. 

4. Dallas Cowboys

• This feels like the year that they stop middling around at 8-8 and have it all fall apart. A roster of stars with no depth will crumble sooner rather than later.

  NFC NORTH 

Pondering the possibility of 2nd place.

 1. Green Bay Packers 

• Any slight, perceived or otherwise motivates Aaron Rodgers and this off-season his leadership style was challenged by former teammate Greg Jennings. The Pack will cruise to the NFC North title on the best quarterback in the league's psychotic shoulders.  

2. Detroit Lions

• The Lions lost a shitload of nailbiters last season. Some better luck on defense and an even more balanced offense will lead to a Detroit season that resembles their 10-6 campaign of 2011. 

3. Minnesota Vikings 

• Adrian Peterson is the hungriest football player Earth has ever seen. That said, the Vikings' 2012 good fortune will even out as not many reinforcements were brought in for AP's team. 

 4. Chicago Bears

• Success is the modern-day NFL is primarily attained with high-flying offenses. Da Bears' stellar defense won't carry them out of the basement in this stacked division. 

NFC SOUTH 

Suddenly atop the NFC South.

1. Carolina Panthers

• This team had some of the best offensive and defense rankings of 2012, but finished 7-9. Massive talent will trump 2012's bad luck and terrible coaching and the black cats will surprise the NFL. 

2. New Orleans Saints 

• No off-season scandal this year, only QB Drew Brees's high-octane offense and a full year of genius coach Sean Payton. But their awful defense will hold them back from the promised land.

3. Atlanta Falcons 

• In a division known for topsy-turvyness, Atlanta will be this year's victims. Overachievers in '12, a questionable defense and bad coaching will ground the dirty birds. 

4. Tampa Bay Buccaneers 

• The NFC's Chiefs. Overhyped off-season, and still the least talented team in this rough division.

NFC WEST 

Last place in the NFC West.

1. Seattle Seahawks

• Mark my words today, 9/7/13. QB Russell Wilson is the next Tom Brady and the decade of the 2010's will belong to the next NFL dynasty, the Seattle Seahawks. 

2. San Francisco 49ers

• The NFC West had a 7-9 division winner in 2010 and were a longtime punchline. The joke is now on the rest of the NFL and the NFC West is home to the most challenging and exciting division rivalry in the league, Seattle/San Fran. 

3. St. Louis Rams 

• About 3 tiers below the big boys of the west, QB Sam Bradford refuses to take the next step in his career's progression and St. Lou is stuck in NFL purgatory. 

4. Arizona Cardinals 

• Absolutely anemic, historically bad offense has to improve per laws of physics. Decent defense, but only a Ram regression will save them from the cellar.    

PLAYOFFS 
Wild-card round

• Texans over Bills, Patriots over Ravens 
• 49ers over Packers, Panthers over Lions 

Divisional round 

• Bengals over Texans, Broncos over Patriots   
• Seahawks over 49ers, Panthers over Redskins  

Conference Championships 

• Bengals over Broncos 
• Seahawks over Panthers 

Super Bowl

• Seahawks over Bengals 

Don't forget to bookmark this page in order to throw it in my face come early February. Thank you for reading these words and enjoying these pictures. 

         

Blowin' Down That Old Dusty Road

This post is dedicated to my Uncle Emil. 

I suppose when titling this blog (it feels good to type the word "blog" in my perpetually self-aware, self-deprecating tone again) I did so to create a potential backdoor for me to escape out of in the event that this blog became neglected. Sure enough, two months since my last post, I am now able to fall back on "well, I have been gone a long time........" jokes. And being a person of artistic integrity and high moral conviction, please read the name of my blog again. And allow me to make excuses. 

Welcome back, audience. How I've missed typing, saving, and posting words on the internet. Before I proceed any further...a FULL DISCLOSURE: There are two significant differences in the setting in which this blog is being brought to you from. One: I no longer write to you from my mother's basement; I now write from my home office (orifice). Two: these words are now being typed in this state: (colon barrage) 

Entering from Arkansas, the eastern border.

For my audience members who couldn't care less about the locational origin of words they read, I apologize for being self-indulgent. But for my audience members who like to be informed of an artist's backstory in order to gain a complete understanding and appreciation of the art, please incorporate this information into your perception of me. EXCUSES: My relocation from New Britain, Connecticut to Norman, Oklahoma is the reason for my blog neglect. This is the first true adventurous step in a lifetime I hope to be full of exploration, excitement, and experience. 

Since moving 1600 miles across the United States is not a universally shared experience, I will try to enlighten non-pilgrims on some key transit anecdotes. My brain is imploring me to lead off with this: when I click "F4" on my MacBook (product placement number 1; I am receiving royalties from Apple), which is the "dashboard" that displays the weather, calendar, clock, etc. at a glance, my clock's location is now "DALLAS." Not "NEW YORK." This is really all I need to explain. Had I not changed my dashboard clock's major city location I would not have the correct time. I am in the Central Time Zone. I am a long way from home. The sun is in a different location here than it is for most people I know (most of my audience?). The closest major metropolis to me is no longer the City that Never Sleeps. It is Dallas, Texas. I have not been to Dallas and yet, it is the standard for my clock. It almost makes me feel like I am not fully residing at this apartment, in this home office I type from. Simultaneously, the prospect of "DALLAS" time is exciting beyond description. Since I have yet to set foot in Dallas it makes me feel like the entire world, or at least the entire country, is now at my disposal. 

I admittedly have been spending a decent (inordinate) amount of time on Google Maps, on the "Get Directions" section, with "A" as Norman, OK and "B" as a location anywhere in the United States. The reason for this, other than my well-documented geographical nerdiness, is that I am now in the middle of the US map. Conversely, when conducting Google Map "Get Directions" searches with "A" as New Britain, CT and "B" as a location anywhere in the United States, I was on the upper right hand corner of the US map. Meaning that most every search, with the exception of a Cape Cod muse, directionally begins with some form of going WEST on I-84 or SOUTH on I-95. There are a pleathora of intriguing locations to explore that are significantly north, south, east, or west of Norman. It is both aesthetically and generally pleasing to me. Exhibit A, for my Mickey Mouse demographic: Disney World, FL is 18 hours, 29 minutes from Norman. DisneyLand, CA is 19 hours from Norman. The dream of relative proximity is in bloom. 

Actually, the actual dream is to be in the West, according to this blogger's dream interpretations. Residing in Oklahoma for three (!) weeks now has shown me that the state is one of transition. Not in transition; this is not a socioeconomic blog. Traversing its entirety on I-40 will show you this first hand. Although Norman is located right in the middle of the state, 20 minutes south of Oklahoma City, Road Trip 2011 took Kate and I on a West-East tour of the state's girth. Coming in from the west via the Northern Texas panhandle, Oklahoma is a continuation of the windswept, yellow, southern Great Plains. 

Entering from northern Texas, the western border. Plz note the contrasting landscape of eastern/western Oklahoma, as I attempt to highlight this in the text.

It certainly still feels like the West. But as western Oklahoma becomes central Oklahoma and central Oklahoma becomes eastern Oklahoma, woodsiness gradually appears and the landscape becomes relatively indistinct from much of eastern America. The landscape of vast ranches gives way to vast farms and despite not crossing the Mississippi until reaching Arkansas's eastern border, you know you've officially exited the West. As my first move westward, I am happy to land in a transition state. All sentimental and ritualistic things considered it feels like a very appropriate first step. Despite this dramatic picture I've painted, the only reason I am in Oklahoma specifically is because Kate is attending the University of Oklahoma for graduate school. Skeptical of its seemingly boring location at first (it's not my dream of the West!!!), I have already grown to appreciate Oklahoma for its transitional beauty. No destination in the U.S. is now beyond two and a half/three days of driving.  

The city of Norman has very wide roads made of cement blocks rather than asphalt, making it feel Western. This vibe also caters to my love of trains, also well-documented. The BNSF railroad crosses all of the East/West main roads in Norman and to say train crossings are frequent would be a massive understatement. I would say that for every one train crossing back in Connecticut, there are 100 here. Seems like an extremely Western occurrence to me. However, locals here all have Southern accents, something I did not expect and is decidedly non-Western. Ranches and farms coexist just beyond city limits, fully underscoring the transitional landscape. 

A frequent sight on Lindsey Street.

SIDE NOTE: On our journey from CT to OK, Kate and I noticed Southern accents existing all the way up into southern Indiana and Illinois. Don't underestimate the pull of Southern Tradition (not sure what that means). 

JOURNAL ENTRY: I have been gone a long time (stop it), so I will offer some anecdotes on the experiences leading up to a 1600 mile relocation project. As I may or may not have previously promised in these blog pages, I figured the month of July would mark my consistency comeback in the blogosphere. I reasoned: I will be working a summer school job, in which my hours are 8am-12:30pm, Monday through Thursday. I will have plenty of time to blog. Famous last words. Turns out that when you're moving across the country you have to pack some stuff. This probably consumed the greatest chunk of my potential blog-time. Everything you own gets analyzed and put into two categories: move-worthy or unworthy. If move-worthy it needs to be sorted with all other relatively similar items so that nothing gets misplaced or forgotten. Next you have to pack (cram) the items as efficiently as possible into boxes. Cramming items into boxes mostly resembles playing Tetris, as you do not want to waste any precious square inch. This reduced blog-time to zero throughout July and early August. In addition, when relocating to a far-away land you spend as much quality time with those that you love as you can. Also, it was July. Which might be the most active party month of the twelve...This is a topic for a blog post from the future. 

Upon arriving at our Norman abode, we arrived to emptiness. I had not developed an appreciation for furniture until August 13th, 2013. Bed, desk, tables, chairs. These would all come at a later date. Many meals were eaten on the floor or on the counter; many lounge sessions were spent on blankets with our backs against the wall. However, we did obtain a bed pretty quickly, thanks Swansons! (Swanson shout-out) Our furniture was obtained pretty much one by one, as we conducted most of our shopping at tag sales or craigslist. Chairs are especially difficult to live in a home without. I plan on dedicating an entire post to chairs (famous last words) because they are absolutely fascinating. 

SIDE NOTE: as suggested by my friend Jackie, craigslist.org is a fucking gold mine when it comes to cheap, quality furniture. Be advised to check those listings before buying anything new at a store. 

As more furniture streamed in, the more we could unpack boxes and the more we could settle in. It has been a process. I never knew there were so many errands to be run. Every day I can focus a little more on things I focused on before moving 1600 miles. This includes getting into a groove of current musical passions. I have been fixated on three musicians as of press time: Defeater, Serengeti, and Tom Waits. Defeater have released Letters Home in July and I have not been able to stop listening to it. I also was able to see them perform on a small stage at the Hartford Warped Tour stop this summer and was gripped by their powerful performance. This may happen with most bands, but witnessing their live show for the first time definitely adds something for when you go back home and listen to their music. Emotional, urgent, dark, concept-based hardcore:

Serengeti has been a favorite of mine for the past year after a pal introduced me (thanks Nick Williams!). In the hip-hop game his creativity and quirkiness is unparalleled. Thoughtfulness is coupled with razor-sharp wit throughout his lyrics. His middle-aged, Chicago-based everyman rapper with a heart of gold alter-ego Kenny Dennis has yet to make me stop laughing. I am supposedly going to be get to see him in November at the Opolis in Norman...I can't describe my level of anticipation. He also released an album this summer, an entire LP of songs as his alter ego, Kenny Dennis LP. Give it a shot:

I have been in love with Tom Waits since '08 after Kate introduced me (thanks Kate!). This is the main reason why we've been together for almost five years. Unrivaled weirdness/creativity in his music composition, he has one of the most distinctive/badass voices I've ever heard. I have been watching grainy clips of his appearances on David Letterman's Late Show in the 80's late at night...

This concludes my comeback. I am back to blogging and I'm loving every minute of it. Thank you for reading these words. Coming soon........NFL preview 2013. I will try to keep it more concise. No promises. 

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