I suppose this is a slightly (very) uninteresting topic considering the high (astronomical) standards of this blog's (possessive blog count: 1) content, but I am looking the other way (turning the other cheek) for the time being. I fully intend for this to be a short (shorter) post; time (word count) will tell whether I can abbreviate myself successfully.
At the advent of I've Been Gone a Long Time I vaguely intended some blog posts to be about food/alcohol. This is an alcoholic post. If you are under the age of 21, don't tell your mom you read this.
FACTS: I drink alcohol. Cat's out of the bag; straight edge readers needn't continue to patronize me. I enjoy drinking alcohol. There are many types of alcohol to drink. I will outline relevant types and discuss my brand allegiances/suggestions.
DISCLAIMERS: I buy my liquor one bottle at a time. I do not have a bar in my mother's home or anything resembling an active collection of booze. Whichever bottle I have purchased most recently is undoubtedly the bottle I am currently doing work on. The specific type of alcohol I posses at any given moment is based purely on liquor-store-visit whim. That whim is relative, however; an unwritten (unthought) rule I customarily abide by is to not buy the same type of liquor on consecutive liquor-store-visits. I actually try to purchase three types of liquor before repeating. Variety is the spice of life? If you are still reading this blog, I will give an example. I might go with gin, then tequila, then whiskey on three consecutive trips. To follow the whiskey up with gin on the fourth trip would not be deviating from the process.
SIDE NOTE: gin, whiskey, and tequila are my favorite liquors. The order depends on my state of mind/season.
MORE DISCLAIMERS: I am not a rich man by any stretching of your imagination. Nor do I try to impress colleagues with my alcohol selections. However, I do enjoy taste. I do enjoy smoothness. So, do not expect to find Dubra in the words of this blog post. Nor should you expect Patron/Grey Goose references to be found in the words of this blog post. All things considered: My favorite alcohol brands are reasonably priced choices that taste great. At this time in my life I am not tall enough to reach the top shelved liquors.
GIN: New Amsterdam
I will begin the synopsis with the bottle I arguably (an internal argument) purchase most often. Gin feels like the least ubiquitous alcohol I drink, so I drink it with secret pride. Overall, it is the easiest liquor for me to drink as far as taste harshness as well as the most distinctive taste. Despite this, I am not always in the mood for the relative pleasantness that gin offers. But on the frequent occasions I am, New Amsterdam is my choice. Classic gin taste with a very smooth finish. Don't let its modest price fool you (750ml probably won't cost you more than 13 dollars), New Amsterdam is the best value in the entire liquor store. Read that sentence again.
Two-part cocktail of choice: New Amsterdam & lime seltzer.
BOURBON: JIM BEAM
With apologies to whiskey and Jameson, I will err on the side of America and discuss bourbon (God Bless America). I certainly feel more badass when drinking bourbon than any other liquor. Every time I raise my glass I toast to those blue-collar scumbags of yore in the Deep South just trying to make an honest living and driving around dirt roads in their pickups. Bourbon warms my insides and is probably the most offensive tasting to the unacquainted. But there is something about the kick it gives me somewhere close to my heart that keeps me coming back for more. It is probably in my bloodlines. I might actually drink bourbon more than gin. I do not keep alcohol statistics.
Two-part cocktail of choice: Jim Beam & Ginger Ale.
TEQUILA: LUNAZUL (BLANCO)
Margaritas might be my favorite mixed drink, and are certainly the platform in which I was formally introduced to tequila. On second thought margaritas are probably not my favorite mixed drink. There are 1 million (my tally) mixed drinks. My most idiosyncratic brand selection of this blog post, I found Lunazul in a giant liquor store and bought it on principle of their Mexican Wolf imagery. In nature, the wolf (I'm wolf) also prides itself on its idiosyncratic nature. I prefer silver (blanco? white?) tequila to gold. To me, gold tequila tastes a little too much like dark rum. I stay away from rum because I have developed a taste aversion based on rum being the exclusive liquor of my formative drinking years. I suppose silver tequila is a little like vodka. Except it has taste. Vodka=glorified rubbing alcohol to my palette. Smokiness is probably my favorite taste quality. Lunazul embodies smoke.
Two-part cocktail of choice: Lunazul & Orange Dry.
My attentive readers (0 of you?) have probably guessed I will not be reviewing my "favorite" rum and vodka by now. It would be a big blank area (reference to the obligatory paragraphs, pictures, etc.) on this blog post. And since this blog contains prime internet real estate, I will explain in words that I don't really drink those liquors. I do not yet qualify as a wine connoisseur, either. This would appear to be the end of this abbreviated post. However, after a long blog layoff my attentive readers deserve a little bonus. So, without any more long-winded deliberation, I present my favorite cheap beer.
CHEAP BEER: ROLLING ROCK
I have certainly caught my unfair share of flack for being a Rolling Rock aficionado over the years. But, as a renowned scholar once said, "haters fall back." I'm not sure if it's the taste of nostalgia, the beautiful green label, its relative major-beer-company obscurity, the subtle hint of almond in its taste, or D) All of the above. But, it is my go-to on the cheap. I will not even try to persuade you to try it. This is a strictly expressive paragraph.
My hope with this blog post is that you open up your mind (and mouth) to at least one new experience. Thank you for sticking with me and for reading these words.
Listening...Radiohead-Scatterbrain
